These days I work less with goals and plans and leave my life to be guided by my inspiration. It often takes surprising twists and turns, but is infinitely more interesting and less stressful than 'making plans' for the future.My last post talked about letting Toadie go and that hasn't happened. Trusting to inspiration, I intuitively gave Toady what he wanted and needed and he has returned to the mellow affectionate little chap that we all love. There are still decisions to be made at some point, but I don't try to direct them, I just allow them to unfold as the time is right.
Many horse owners get stressed by the behaviour of their horses, and I am no different, despite my 'gifts'. But I am learning to recognise that nothing is important enough to get depressed about. Things have a way of working out. Sometimes the results are not so good. Maybe an animal dies or you have to let him go. But that's ok. It's part of the pattern of life. I notice that the more relaxed and unaffected I am by the things around me, the less external events are able to rock me off balance.
It's not always easy. Particularly if you are on a large yard with people judging you. When I was part of a yard, It infuriated me how many people were self professed experts, even though some of the advice was total rubbish. When I first had Jack, over twenty years ago, he was difficult for me to work out. The first year I spent more time in tears than I have my whole life. So many people knew better than me, and so many people wanted to - and indeed did - tell me what to do with him. Many people told me to get rid of him!
One day I pulled away from everyone, making myself highly unpopular. I thanked people for their advice, but told them that from now on I would be trusting my own feelings. It was amazing how this evoked so much anger in people. It was an uncomfortable time, but I knew it was right for me and my horse. And in the end, I was right. I created a fabulous relationship with Jack, that has sustained us through our whole time together.
Jack is 28 now! We have a beautiful relationship. We are like two pairs of faded, frayed but comfortable slippers placed side by side in front of the fire. He loves me but doesn't appear to show it - though I do see it and feel it - I love him but am not allowed to demonstrate it, other than when he 'allows' it.
He is a macho grumpy old man, but we understand each other, and when he dies, we both know that we have said all that has needed to be said, and done all that has needed to be done. We have smoked the pipe of peace together and it doesn't get any better than that. I don't think many people would 'get' him, but I do, and he gets me, and that makes us special.
Trust in your own feelings about your horse. Don't let anyone else tell you what is right for you and him. If you want a better relationship with him, stop listening to others that might be telling you how to get that. You and your horse know best what is right for you.
Jan
http://www.healinghorses.co.uk/
