It's been a while

What a year it has been. Most of you know that I lost my dad to cancer in June this year, had a horse go down with severe laminitis two days prior to his death, brought on by Cushing's, and folded a business partnership. All in the space of a few days!

Well, My dad is still dead, the horse has fully recovered and is now on a daily detox and vitus agnus castus for his Cushings, and the partnership has been tidied up and put away. But it's been tough, and I can honestly say that it has taken me almost six months to recover from the energy drain of it all.

I accept death as a natural transition from life, and intellectually feel pretty okay about it. But deep down on a cellular level, is it possible to walk away without scars? No, like any wound there has to be time to heal.

Today I leapt out into the world, by attending a women's speedworking network event. It was a lot of fun and I met some great women that I felt inspired by. I was promoting the Equine Assisted Coaching business, and in particular the help for cancer project.

Horses are amazing in this work, and for women that have lost their power, self esteem and confidence there is no being better equipped to help. Horses kick start us back to a place of power, and certainty of who we really are. Watching the horses, one has to wonder if this really is their purpose.

I have always stated my belief that horses were sent to help us grow spiritually. My own horses sometimes drive me nuts. Jack, my 27 year old horse acts like a cross between Victor Meldrew & Bambi. He can wind me up and make me happy, sometimes in the breath of the same second!

Danny is an oddball. This year he has mirrored my determination to succeed against the odds, when I helped him to recover from lamintis, a feat that no one believed I could achieve, not even the vet!

Toady? Well Toady has often come close to being shipped off to the Blue Cross! He is a grumpy little chap, but I respect that for most part he mirrors my inner world. I felt violently angry over my dad's pretty much pointless and unecessary death - if he, and his partner, had done things differently he could have extended his life and had good quality of life.

I still feel a smidgen of anger when I think about it. Supressing it is wrong, so I don't try. It gets a little less each day, but meantime I have to put up with Toady showing me what my anger looks like on the inside. Yay! Great!

Horses teach us so much about ourselves, if we are prepared to accept that it doesn't always look pretty. If your horse is displaying some sort of behioural problem right now, ask yourself what is going on in your life, and then check back with him for feedback.