I have lost two animals in the last six months. My 11 year old whippet started having seizures and it turned out her liver was packing up, and my gorgeous little ferret, Squidgy, went in to the vets to have a bad tooth removed and collapsed and died whilst waiting in the vets holding pens. Tragic yes indeed, but that's life and we cannot do anything to stop these sorts of things happening.As a teenager, I recall a woman who had an elderly German shepherd that had completely gone off it's back legs. It dragged itself about and had to be lifted up with a towel for it to go to the toilet. At seventeen I believed that it was wrong, and now, over 30 years later I still feel the same. I know that animals don't want to live like this.
When I had a breakdown in 1995 it was the end of an era, and it wasn't all about losing my dog. I was hysterical with grief, and I know that for some people this is how they react when they lose an animal. But we have to learn from death, and the most important thing to learn is when to let our animals go, with dignity and in little or no pain. Death is part of life and all we can do is to make sure we give our animals the best life possible when they are with us.
I had the chance to spend a whole day with Minnie - my whippet - before the vet came to my home to put her to sleep. All day she kept asking me if it was time. She hadn't been upstairs for a while, and her habit was always to push back the covers and curl up into my tummy. That morning she scrambled up the stairs and got into bed with me. She knew, and she was ready. Her death was quiet and dignified and although I grieved, I knew that I had done the right thing for her.
When we grieve, we grieve for our loss. The animal's soul has already moved on and is 'living' in some other dimension, active and young and happy again. Several experiences I have had have convinced of this.
The way to help our grief is to do right by our animals - whilst they are alive!. Spend quality time with them. I walk my dogs 15 - 25 miles a week. I do this because walking is a primal need for dogs, and they love it, it helps us bond and is natural stress burner for dogs - and for me. I am amazed how many people think that because they have a big garden the dog will be happy with that as its exercise. That simply isn't so.
All dogs love the excitement of going somewhere different and just running about chasing a ball, with tongues hanging out and rolling in disgusting smelly animal dung if they get the chance! When Minnie died I knew that I had given her as much as I could. So my grief has been healthy and normal. A few weeks before she became ill, a new dog crept into our lives and helped to bridge the gap for my other old dog, Cassie.
When you lose an animal find someone that is empathic and talk it through, but the best thing that you can do is to give your animals the best life possible whilst they are with you.
